Understanding the Concept of Work-Spouse:
Married/unmarried, we all know or at least have some idea of the (conventional) kind of relationship shared between a husband and wife. The roles, duties, what 1 should expect and what not from one's spouse are quite fixed in societal norms. The general belief which comes along with is that one shares one's home with one's spouse. So defining the term spouse we could say that a spouse is a person (conventionally of opposite sex) whom one is married to, and also most of the times lives along with. Someone with whom you share not just your bed but also other significant things of your life like joy, sorrow, success, failure etc. May be your best friend or confidante.
What would you then call a person whom you share a similar kind of relationship on emotional basis at workplace but are not married to? A lexically accepted term come up for this relationship is work-spouse which in the 1st instance may sound to a lay-man as if a term used to refer to your spouse if both share the same work place. But a work-spouse conversely is a person who is just your colleague but not like just any other colleague to you.
There was a period when in western countries the role of a secretary was broadened to cover many other areas (no nasty thoughts please :) ) like payment of bills, some household chores etc; other than the usual official work. Secretaries would then be looked at as work-wives.
Today however, this concept is extended beyond work-wives and the superior-subordinate relationship. On the contrary work-spouses in today's age tend to share the same posts at work-places. The nature and similarity of roles makes them face similar kind of situations, understand each other limitations, pressures etc at work thereby creating a special kind of bond.
Many people have spouses employed in completely different professions as theirs or not employed at all. In such cases, your spouse may or may not be able to empathize with you. At such times a companion at work-place can be a good vent to the pent of tensions, to share views, gossips, official likes and dislikes etc.
Setting limits:
Where do you draw a line in such a relationship which is subject to societal speculations and is based on the foundation of quicksand? The accepted scope of this relationship is purely platonic. When there are no "other" expectations from this relation, the real spouses are aware of it and even comfortable with the presence of work-spouses is when one can say alls well; but how long? The physical desires cannot be always tamed and make a person vulnerable to many external elements, emotional proximity being one.
And Finally:
Being practical, professional and constantly aware of one's moral boundaries, especially one's commitment towards the real spouse, are the key-strengths which can make both the relations (marriage and work-marriage) co-exist in harmony. Love is precious. Nurture and use it with utmost care. Dont lose it falling prey to myopic temptations.
Understanding the Concept of Work-Spouse:Married/unmarried, we all know or at least have some idea of the (conventional) kind of relationship shared between a husband and wife. The roles, duties, what 1 should expect and what not from one's spouse are quite fixed in societal norms. The general belief which comes along with is that one shares one's home with one's spouse. So defining the term spouse we could say that a spouse is a person (conventionally of opposite sex) whom one is married to, and also most of the times lives along with. Someone with whom you share not just your bed but also other significant things of your life like joy, sorrow, success, failure etc. May be your best friend or confidante.
What would you then call a person whom you share a similar kind of relationship on emotional basis at workplace but are not married to? A lexically accepted term come up for this relationship is work-spouse which in the 1st instance may sound to a lay-man as if a term used to refer to your spouse if both share the same work place. But a work-spouse conversely is a person who is just your colleague but not like just any other colleague to you.
There was a period when in western countries the role of a secretary was broadened to cover many other areas (no nasty thoughts please :) ) like payment of bills, some household chores etc; other than the usual official work. Secretaries would then be looked at as work-wives.
Today however, this concept is extended beyond work-wives and the superior-subordinate relationship. On the contrary work-spouses in today's age tend to share the same posts at work-places. The nature and similarity of roles makes them face similar kind of situations, understand each other limitations, pressures etc at work thereby creating a special kind of bond.
Many people have spouses employed in completely different professions as theirs or not employed at all. In such cases, your spouse may or may not be able to empathize with you. At such times a companion at work-place can be a good vent to the pent of tensions, to share views, gossips, official likes and dislikes etc.
Setting limits:
Where do you draw a line in such a relationship which is subject to societal speculations and is based on the foundation of quicksand? The accepted scope of this relationship is purely platonic. When there are no "other" expectations from this relation, the real spouses are aware of it and even comfortable with the presence of work-spouses is when one can say alls well; but how long? The physical desires cannot be always tamed and make a person vulnerable to many external elements, emotional proximity being one.
And Finally:
Being practical, professional and constantly aware of one's moral boundaries, especially one's commitment towards the real spouse, are the key-strengths which can make both the relations (marriage and work-marriage) co-exist in harmony. Love is precious. Nurture and use it with utmost care. Dont lose it falling prey to myopic temptations.
Married/unmarried, we all know or atleast have some idea of the (conventional) kind of relationship shared between a husband and wife. The roles, duties, what 1 should expect and what not from one's spouse are quite fixed in societal norms. The general belief which comes alongwith is that one shares one's home with one's spouse. So defining the term spouse we could say that a spouse is a person (conventionally of opposite sex) whom one is married to, and also most of the times lives along with. Someone with whom you share not just your bed but also other significant things of your life like joy, sorrow, success, failure etc. May be your best friend or confidante.
What would you then call a person whom you share a similar kind of relationship on emotional basis at workplace but are not married to? A lexically accepted term come up for this relationship is work-spouse which in the 1st instance may sound to a lay-man as if a term used to refer to your spouse if both share the same work place. But a work-spouse conversely is a person who is just your colleague but not like just any other colleague to you.
There was a period when in western countries the role of a secretary was broadened to cover many other areas (no nasty thoughts please :) ) like payment of bills, some household chores etc; other than the usual official work. Secretaries would then be looked at as work-wives.
Today however, this concept is extended beyond work-wives and the superior-subordinate relationship. On the contrary work-spouses in today's age tend to share the same posts at work-places. The nature and similarity of roles makes them face similar kind of situations, understand each other limitations, pressures etc at work thereby creating a special kind of bond.
Many people have spouses employed in completely different professions as theirs or not employed at all. In such cases, your spouse may or may not be able to empathize with you. At such times a companion at work-place can be a good vent to the pent of tensions, to share views, gossips, official likes and dislikes etc.
Setting limits:
Where do you draw a line in such a relationship which is subject to societal speculations and is based on the foundation of quicksand? The accepted scope of this relationship is purely platonic. When there are no "other" expectations from this relation, the real spouses are aware of it and even comfortable with the presence of work-spouses is when one can say alls well; but how long? The physical desires cannot be always tamed and make a person vulnerable to many external elements, emotional proximity being one.
And Finally:
Being practical, professional and constantly aware of one's moral boundaries, especially one's commitment towards the real spouse, are the key-strengths which can make both the relations (marriage and work-marriage) co-exist in harmony. Love is precious. Nurture and use it with utmost care. Dont lose it falling prey to myopic temptations.
2 comments:
The latest blog is written with very open mind (as always) which gets reflected by the words “spouse is a person CONVENTIONALLY of OPPOSITE sex.” I’ve read hundreds of article on this topic but this one is the best to introduce this topic. But whenever I think about work-spouse several questions comes into my mind (hope the author'd try to answer them)
1. As mentioned by the author that work-spouse share only an emotional relation. On this basis, I’d like to call this type of relation as ‘friendship’ and not spouse. Somebody tell me a single factor of this relation (if it’s only emotional) which differentiates it from what two best friends have.
2. I think some differences b/w two persons is what attracts them towards each other and not the similarities. If I’m facing the same problem as my work-spouse then why would I listen to her... It’ll be all common and boring for me.
3. Who will draw the line (in any relation)? One can never predict others expectation and most of the relations are ruined by the incorrect speculations. Society assumes no line and finally either you should have a high will power or you’ll fall prey to societal pressure and just end the relation.
The final two lines are the best lines of the three blogs, i.e., love is precious ..nurture it..but again love can be nurtured only if both the person are willing to do so but most of the time, we try to nurture a plant (love) planted by us only and forget to water the one planted by someone else.
The article is really a nice work and appears to be written with a open yet sensible mind. Yet I would like to raise a few queries here.
If you remove the 'sex' element from the said relation, which is actually what you suggest when u talk about drawing the line, whatever remains, is it anything different than friendship? Why such a supporting role has to be played by an opposite sex? A guy can have a male friend and so does a girl. But you wont call them spouses or married couples (anyway such marriages are not yet legal in many places :-) ) So if some friendly flirting is not considered to be a sexual involvement, is the term work-spouse completely independent of sexual desires or not? If it is, I would prefer to call it friendship.
If not, then its up to my real wife :)
Post a Comment