After a good and reflective response from the readers of previous post (regarding CP) the next step in exploring the area of multiple relationships, this time parallely (unlike sequential process in CP) is trying to have a look at n-timing. N-timing to make things simple is the art(?) to manage 'n' partners (where n>=1) at the same time with or without of the partners involved having the knowledge of each other's existence. We will have a look at cases of n-timings which would differ on the basis of class/age/stage in life etc etc.
(Please note that the cases explored are personal views of the author and no stereotype/generalised opinion meant at any segment is intended.)
A Socialite's urge : The social life of a person which has some effect on the relationship-status is in turn dependent on the Class of the person. An avid party-goer (refered to as party-animal), people surrounded by many interesting people of opposite (not necessarily always) gender as a part of their profession may get this terrible urge to seek warmth in non-permissible zones (assuming that they are currently exploring a zone which in this case means they are already into steady relationship).
Time to have fun: Personally I have quite a few examples of acquaintances belonging to the Age-Group of 16 - 25 who deliberately (and not due to some emotional/social need) get into the juggling (thats what n-timing seems to me like) business, just for the sake to have fun. Some of these are with the notion that this is the time and age to have "fun" and once committed/married (whichever happens 1st) there would hardly remain any scope to dare to bare. This category also has persons with mentality of making a pick on the basis of "Trial n Error" that is they want to try/explore all the available options before finally deciing which 1 to go with.
Different names at different times: The phenomenon of being invloved with more than 1 partners simultaneously is looked at differently or refered with different names as per the different stages of one's life-cycle. Say a happy-go lucky bachelor having multiple girl-friends would be looked at as a cool Casanova whereas a married man involved elsewhere would be refered to as infidel induging in EMAs i.e Extra Marital Affairs (the same people who are quite okay with the bachelor casanova may look down upon the person straying in marriage.)
Gender biases: The perpective of the society towards n-timers can be biased (which is in most of the cases) on the basis of the person invloved. Just as mentioned above the casanova image of a young and happening bachelor. Such a guy is refered to by his friends as a stud and just imagine the same thing when done by a girl. Say a girl going around with more than 1 guys would be looked up to as a slut. These biases make the area of n-timing not so welcoming for females (assuming that 1 is seriously looking forward to multiple relationships as an area of adventure/challenge which I would be coming to subsequently.)
Why is this an art? One can look at the practice of n-timing as an art which is not so simple to cultivate and practice especialy in cases where none of the partners are aware of each other. A married person in an EMA with a young girl without her knowing of his marital-status and ofcourse oblivious to his wife (similar case applicable in case of a married woman) is a case with high risk and high stakes (again depending on the liabilities in the marriage.)
This becomes an even classic form of art when the partners involved are familiar with each other but unaware of their common partner cheating them. One of my friends very proudly flaunts this venture of his past wherein he was going around with 3 girls at a time with al 3 of them being close friends and he was able to "manage" these 3 relationships quite succesfully for a considerable amount of time. Now how would 1 look at this as in is it the guy's smartnes or the girls' foolishness is purely subjective.
Advantages: Variety adding spice to life; in times when 1 door closes u always have the other door/doors to knock on to; enables 1 to develop the skill of time-management.
Disadvantages: Unhealthy when 1 of the many relationships is based on the foundation of strong trust/commitment; could be fatal if "not played safely".
Well if we look at the concept of n-timing as juggling then it may seem to be entertaining only till the point when the juggler is able to well-manage all the balls but once he loses hold of even 1 then the spilt balls may not just spoil the whole game but can even end up hurting people.
(Please note that the cases explored are personal views of the author and no stereotype/generalised opinion meant at any segment is intended.)
A Socialite's urge : The social life of a person which has some effect on the relationship-status is in turn dependent on the Class of the person. An avid party-goer (refered to as party-animal), people surrounded by many interesting people of opposite (not necessarily always) gender as a part of their profession may get this terrible urge to seek warmth in non-permissible zones (assuming that they are currently exploring a zone which in this case means they are already into steady relationship).
Time to have fun: Personally I have quite a few examples of acquaintances belonging to the Age-Group of 16 - 25 who deliberately (and not due to some emotional/social need) get into the juggling (thats what n-timing seems to me like) business, just for the sake to have fun. Some of these are with the notion that this is the time and age to have "fun" and once committed/married (whichever happens 1st) there would hardly remain any scope to dare to bare. This category also has persons with mentality of making a pick on the basis of "Trial n Error" that is they want to try/explore all the available options before finally deciing which 1 to go with.
Different names at different times: The phenomenon of being invloved with more than 1 partners simultaneously is looked at differently or refered with different names as per the different stages of one's life-cycle. Say a happy-go lucky bachelor having multiple girl-friends would be looked at as a cool Casanova whereas a married man involved elsewhere would be refered to as infidel induging in EMAs i.e Extra Marital Affairs (the same people who are quite okay with the bachelor casanova may look down upon the person straying in marriage.)
Gender biases: The perpective of the society towards n-timers can be biased (which is in most of the cases) on the basis of the person invloved. Just as mentioned above the casanova image of a young and happening bachelor. Such a guy is refered to by his friends as a stud and just imagine the same thing when done by a girl. Say a girl going around with more than 1 guys would be looked up to as a slut. These biases make the area of n-timing not so welcoming for females (assuming that 1 is seriously looking forward to multiple relationships as an area of adventure/challenge which I would be coming to subsequently.)
Why is this an art? One can look at the practice of n-timing as an art which is not so simple to cultivate and practice especialy in cases where none of the partners are aware of each other. A married person in an EMA with a young girl without her knowing of his marital-status and ofcourse oblivious to his wife (similar case applicable in case of a married woman) is a case with high risk and high stakes (again depending on the liabilities in the marriage.)
This becomes an even classic form of art when the partners involved are familiar with each other but unaware of their common partner cheating them. One of my friends very proudly flaunts this venture of his past wherein he was going around with 3 girls at a time with al 3 of them being close friends and he was able to "manage" these 3 relationships quite succesfully for a considerable amount of time. Now how would 1 look at this as in is it the guy's smartnes or the girls' foolishness is purely subjective.
Advantages: Variety adding spice to life; in times when 1 door closes u always have the other door/doors to knock on to; enables 1 to develop the skill of time-management.
Disadvantages: Unhealthy when 1 of the many relationships is based on the foundation of strong trust/commitment; could be fatal if "not played safely".
Well if we look at the concept of n-timing as juggling then it may seem to be entertaining only till the point when the juggler is able to well-manage all the balls but once he loses hold of even 1 then the spilt balls may not just spoil the whole game but can even end up hurting people.
